Grief and Gratitude

For many of us in the Florida Conference, the last few weeks have felt like hell. The main headline has been the aftermath of Hurricane Ian. So many across our Conference are still assessing the damage and figuring out what comes next. The losses are important to name, even in places where things could’ve been worse. Watching the Facebook posts and email updates from across the state, there is a profound sense of grief for all that has been taken by this devastating storm.

At the same time, I personally experienced the loss of my younger brother Maurice. There really are few words I can use to describe the hole in my heart that is left by his passing. The grief comes in waves, as they say, and I find myself moving from disbelief to sadness and back again in a matter of minutes. Again, my necessary work has been to name my grief as my family and I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Why must we name our grief? Facing the reality of our grief and allowing ourselves space to articulate the loss and disappointment is a part of the healing process. We see this example in the Psalms, the prophets and in Jesus’ life as well. Naming our grief also creates the context for our gratitude. While it is possible to live in a general attitude of thankfulness, there is something special about gratitude that arises from acute seasons of loss and bereavement. It is just as important to name the gratitude we feel even as we continue to acknowledge the waves of grief. 

Indeed, there is a very special kind of gratitude many of us are feeling for the ways our UMC connection has come alongside us in the last few weeks. I’ve heard the stories of laity and clergy in the Southwest District who are grateful for the leadership of Rev. Debbie Allen (SW District Superintendent), the visits from Janet Earles, Holly Findley, Laurie Hofts and others, and the ongoing support from Trish Warren, Molly McEntire and many others. Personally, my family and I have been overwhelmed by the love and concern from across the Florida Conference and beyond. I have a special kind of gratitude for the Bishop, the Cabinet, as well as my friends and colleagues who have called, sent texts, and mailed tangible expressions of care. Even as my co-Lay Leader Alice Williams was traveling the state to be present with those devastated by Hurricane Ian, she somehow found time to drive up to Jacksonville to attend my brother’s viewing and sit with me for 5 minutes. The grief may come in waves, but the gratitude is never far behind. 

Beyond the impact of Hurricane Ian and the loss of loved ones, we are all navigating a complex season that is a mix of grief and gratitude. As we head towards midterm elections, Southeastern Jurisdictional Conference and the continued threat of disaffiliations within our denomination, it remains important to name the grief that we may feel. It is equally important to name the special gratitude we feel, particularly as the Church shows up in the midst of the complexity. Like never before, we all need each other. As Jesus said, the world will know we are his disciples by the way we love one another. May it be so.

Derrick Scott III
Co-Lay Leader, Florida Conference

Back to the Laity Space Weekend Update for October 15.